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Let's Talk Lube

Feb 14, 2023

Happy Valentine's Day Sexy Thang! It's the day dedicated to love, romance, and juicy sex. So how can we make sex juicy, juicy- besides genuine connection and intimacy? Lube! Lubricant (or lube) can enhance sexual pleasure and reduce friction and discomfort during sexual activity, including penetration and masturbation. Lube can be used during partnered sex and solo play/ masturbation, in fact I recommend using it during solo play. There is no shame in using lube. The use of lube does not mean that the body is unable to 'get wet' or that one partner is unable to turn on the other partner. The use of lubes just increases the pleasure and has nothing to do with the persons desirability, capabilities, or womanhood/manliness. Here are a couple reason to use lube. Using lubricant can help to:

  1. Reduce friction: Lube can help to reduce the friction and discomfort associated with sexual activity, making it more pleasurable.

  2. Protect from micro tears: with less friction comes less chance for tearing or other damage to the skin, vaginal canal, and anus. Micro tears can lead to infections, discomfort, and imbalanced ph, so the more glide available the better.

  3. Enhance sensation: Some lubricants contain ingredients that can enhance sensation and increase arousal, such as menthol, warming agents, or CBD.

  4. Improve comfort: For individuals who experience vaginal dryness or discomfort during sexual activity, lubricants can help to improve comfort and reduce pain.

  5. Prevent condoms from breaking: Lubricant can help to prevent condoms from breaking during sexual activity, which can reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

There are many types of lubes available, including water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Each lube has different properties and benefits, and are intended for different uses. It's important to choose the right type of lubricant for your needs.

  • Oil-based lubricants are typically made from natural oils, such as petroleum jelly or coconut oil. These lubricants are long-lasting and can be used for a variety of purposes, but they can also be messy and difficult to clean up. Oil-based lubricants can also degrade latex condoms, so they're not recommended for use with barrier methods of birth control.

  • Water-based lubricants are the most commonly used type of personal lubricant. They are easy to clean up, safe to use with condoms and other barrier methods, and compatible with most sex toys. However, they may not last as long as oil-based lubricants and can become sticky or dry out during use.

  • Silicone-based lubricants are a good choice for individuals who have sensitive skin. They are made from silicone and are long-lasting and waterproof. Silicone-based lubes are also safe to use with condoms and sex toys, but they can be more difficult to clean up and can sometimes leave a residue on skin or fabric.

It's important to thoroughly clean lubricants off surfaces. Leaving lube on a silicone toy can create pores, which allows for bacteria growth. Take time to research and choose a personal lubricant that is safe and appropriate for your needs/skin/body. Spend time reading the label and consult with a healthcare provider or sexual health expert, like myself, if you have any questions or concerns.

Journal Prompt: What are my perceptions around the use of lube and how can I make those perceptions more positive? In what ways can I use more lube in my solo and partnered play time? In Pleasure,

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Robin Denise is a sexologist, sacred sex coach, sex doula, and sensual yoga trapeze instructor. She specializes in helping individuals, couples, and poly couples, improve their sexual health and intimacy through a holistic and body-centered approach. She currently resides in Maryland with clients in the DC/MD/VA area, Atlanta, and California. She offers private 1 on 1 retreats in Costa Rica throughout the year. She's published numerous journals on self-love and self-pleasure currently available on her website here. To learn more about Robin's work click here.For consultations click here. TikTok: @robin.denise Instagram: @robin_denise_

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