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Do My Eyes Deceive Me?

Feb 08, 2023

Hey Sexy Thang, We've reached the last of the senses and it is sight! Sight is often considered one of the least important senses when it comes to sexual pleasure and attraction, but it's also used the most. Research has shown that sight plays a significant role in sex. The connection between sight and sex is complex and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including physical appearance, internal imagery, and the environment. One of the ways in which sight and sex are connected is through physical appearance. Studies have shown that people are more attracted to those who are physically attractive. While physical attractiveness is subjective, certain features such as symmetrical faces and certain body shapes tend to be considered more attractive. Furthermore, certain clothing and grooming can enhance physical appearance, and thereby can affect sexual attraction. Another way in which sight and sex are connected is through internal imagery. Mental images, or "the highlight reel", is also a form of sight. Playing romantic scenes out in your mind is a form of sight one of which can heighten arousal. Using images of past sexual experiences and/ or playing out fantasies in the minds eye can greatly impact sexual desire. The environment also plays a role in the connection between sight and sex. The ambiance and setting can have a significant impact on sexual attraction and pleasure. A candlelit dinner, a romantic sunset, or a luxurious bedroom can all create a more sensual atmosphere, which can contribute to sexual attraction and pleasure. In my journal, My Self-Pleasure Journal: a 21-day healing masturbation journal for your self love practice section one describes the process of setting your space for pleasure. In solo play having an area decorated, cleaned, and dedicated to your pleasure practice is a large part of setting a sensual atmosphere. It allows the body to relax, going into the a parasympathetic response- the rest and digest function of the nervous system. In parasympathetic the body is able to feel more arousal, and thus have access to higher levels of orgasmic pleasure. Pleasure Opportunity: Create your solo pleasure space. Visualize what your ideal atmosphere would be for pleasure both with self and partnered. During this visualization paint the scene in great detail. Is there a bed in this room? Are you even in a room, maybe your pleasure space is outside, in a vehicle or somewhere else. What colors are around you? Is there TV or a screen in this place? If so, what is playing on it? i.e. porn, pictures, soft porn, a movie etc. What comfortable things do you have in this room- pillows, blankets, feathers. What color are the walls? Are there toys in this room, where are they laying or displayed? Imagine in vivid detail. Afterwards begin to create the space in reality. Bring in as many elements from your visualization as possible. Once your space is curated to your liking, self-pleasure in this space and see how your body responds. Journal about your experience. Have questions? Send me an email at In Pleasure, Robin Denise is a sexologist, sacred sex coach, sex doula, and sensual yoga trapeze instructor. She specializes in helping individuals, couples, and poly couples, improve their sexual health and intimacy through a holistic and body-centered approach. She currently resides in Maryland with clients in the DC/MD/VA area, Atlanta, and California. She offers private 1 on 1 retreats in Costa Rica throughout the year. She's published numerous journals on self-love and self-pleasure currently available on her website here. To learn more about Robin's work click here.For consultations click here. TikTok: @robin.denise Instagram: @robin_denise_

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